Review: Fizzy Mints THC tablets

One note: Despite the name, Fizzy Mints THC tablets are not dissolveable tablets that you drop into water. They’re standard mints that you eat like… mints. When I bought them I wasn’t sure, so I’m glad I checked before I became one of those people who are the source of those weird, sometimes obvious warnings on packages, like “Do not eat while SCUBA diving” or whatever.

Also, these mints are only 2.5 mg per dose, so if you want five or 10 mg, you need to do math and math is hard.

Fizzy Mints THC tablets Test 1 (5 mg)

My first and only experience with THC in mint form did not go well, so it’s fair to say my expectations were very, very, extremely low. And, alas, I got off to a bad start.

I ate two mints right before a plate of pesto chicken and waited almost an hour before I even felt a tingle. Once it was obviously hitting, it took another 30 minutes for the effects to creep up to a disappointingly dull buzz. The effects, such as they were, started fading early, around the 2.5-hour mark.

Test 2 (5 mg)

In an effort to coax the maximum performance out of these things, I acquired a rotisserie chicken for dinner, knowing that this meal reliably enhances the effects of most edibles.

Onset was slow again, about 50 minutes, but the chicken did its job. This time the effects were noticeably stronger, but still below average for a 5 mg dose of a Minnesota hemp-derived edible. Alas, it had been a long day and I started nodding off early (even for me), so I can’t say if the effects lasted longer than the relatively brief 2.5-hour trip I’d had the night before.

Test 3 (10 mg)

Time passed before this test occurred and I once again dined on pesto chicken, which hasn’t always been the best accompaniment for edibles. By the way, if you’re dosing with a mint, put a little distance between taking the mints and sitting down to eat or everything will test chemical-y.

Onset was slightly faster this time (45 minutes), but there was a loooong pause between the first tingle and the peak. Like, we’re talking a two hour pause. And when it peaked, it was still, somehow, less potent than the 5 mg dose I took with the rotisserie chicken a few nights earlier. That’s a first, folks. And no, I have no idea how or why.

The straight dope on Fizzy Mints THC tablets

I don’t know what it is about THC mints, but so far I’m 0 for 2 in terms of performance. I’m sure there are some micro dose fans out there who will really enjoy this product, but even then you have to wait especially long for a meager buzz. If you’re on an empty stomach, you might never get that buzz.

SCORES:

Potency: 2

Price: 2 ($24.99 on the Hemp House website or the Watchtower Dispensary website)

Value: 2

Far Out, Man Ratio: 2

Total: 8 out of 20

Scoring system is a 1 to 5 range, with 1 being “meh,” and 5 being “Fuck yeah.”