Review: Hemp House Gummies

If you’ve read more than one post on this blog (and if not, why not?), you know that I have a certain affection for Hemp House. Their customer service is top notch, they have a crazy large inventory of edibles and beverages, they deliver, and I’ve already sung the praises of their hard candies. Well, prepare to be not at all shocked to hear the Hemp House Gummies are winners too.

Like the hard candies, it’s not clear who is manufacturing this product for Hemp House, but it doesn’t really matter. Someone at Hemp House clearly put in the effort to find a product that they’re proud to be associated with.

With that fan boy preamble out of the way, how did the gummies perform?

Hemp House Gummies Test 1 (5 mg)

I swallowed a 5 mg gummy right before dinner and barely 30 minutes later the buzz started creeping in. That, for the record, is about the fastest onset of any Minnesota edible I’ve tried. Nice.

About 20 minutes later a surge started and soon after I was enjoying a rather indulgent work night buzz. Any stronger and I might have been worried about my condition the next morning.

But here’s the thing, there was no hangover. This may have had something to do with the fade that started about three hours after eating the gummy. Most edibles are still going strong at the three-hour mark. By the time I went to bed, nearly four hours after eating gummy, the buzz was noticeably diminished, but not so much I needed to take something extra before bed to quiet my old fart aches and pains, unlike some products I’ve tried.

This was literally the only flaw I could find, if that’s what you consider a “flaw.” Honestly, if you’re looking to still be flying four hours after eating an edible, you should probably eat a second edible at the three-hour mark.

Test 2 (5 mg)

This time I inhaled a giant plate of pasta after eating one of the Hemp House Gummies. The pasta slowed the onset ever so slightly (35-40 minutes), but the upside was the effects were just a smidge stronger. I’d had a long day, but my buzz was so incapacitating that I was falling asleep at the 90-minute mark. Again, there was somehow no perceptible hangover, despite the extra kick.

Test 3 (10 mg)

I had mostly similar results with a double dose of the Hemp House Gummies. Onset started about 30 minutes after eating them, then a delightful rush just before the one-hour mark, which peaked at about 1:20. Oddly, two doses did not feel like double the strength of one gummy. To be clear, I was very stoned, but I expected more.

Then there was a late rush at the two-hour mark and that’s where my notes trail off. So, I must have been zonked. Better late than never.

The straight dope on Hemp House Gummies

If the spoiler back in the first paragraph wasn’t clear, I love these little guys. I had to really reach to find even mild criticism. Fast-acting, potent, no perceptible hangover and at $19.99 they are $5 less than most of my other favorite Minnesota edibles.

One of these days I’ll do a head-to-head test of my top ranked edibles, but for now, I’ll just say (once again) that I have a new all time favorite Minnesota gummy.

SCORES:

Potency: 5

Price: 5 ($19.99 on the Hemp House website)

Value: 5

Far Out, Man Ratio: 5

Total: 20 out of 20

Scoring system is a 1 to 5 range, with 1 being “meh,” and 5 being “Fuck yeah.”