Review: Xite Dark Chocolate Minis

Welcome to my first non-gummy review, for the Xite Dark Chocolate Minis THC and CBD treats.

You may be as surprised as I am to learn that Xite products are shipped in to our friends at Hemp House from Colorado Springs, Colorado by an outfit called “Patsy’s Candies,” which has been making treats since 1903. I guess it makes sense that this stuff can be shipped across state lines, through states where these products are not legal as long as no one opens the truck, but I was surprised nonetheless.

The Xite website has a blog that I was too lazy to read, but in their very first post, “Why Xite edibles taste the best!,” they offer the following:

“The extract is sourced from locally grown Hemp plants in Colorado and used by our professional staff in a variety of Patsy’s Candies. Full Spectrum Hemp Extract is full of terpenes, which contain a variety of cannabinoids that work simultaneously together to produce what researchers call the ‘entourage effect.’”

And if for some reason you want to read several thousand scholarly words about the “entourage effect,” here you go.

Anyway, I have a lot of feeling about this product, so let’s get into it.

Xite Dark Chocolate Minis Test 1 (5-ish mg)

Right out of the gate, I’m confused. A package of Xite Dark Chocolate Minis contains three pieces, with 15 mg of THC in each piece, for a total of 45 mg of THC in the package. Minnesota law allows edibles to contain 5 mg of THC per serving, for total of 50 mg of THC per package. So why the 15 mg pieces and why shortchange people one whole Minnesota dose? Do they not have round numbers in Colorado?

I quickly discovered that cutting a wafer of chocolate into thirds without a ruler is a bit tricky. I think I got it about right, but I’m covering my ass and saying that this test involved 5-ish mg of THC, give or take 1 mg.

I ate the chocolate on a full stomach of kung pow chicken. Within 45 minutes the first hints of tingling started and the effects were definitely settling in at the one-hour mark. I was impressed with the buzz from the 4-6 mg THC dose, but it took more than two hours for the effects to peak. A slow onset seems to be the norm for this product.

Test 2 (7.5 mg)

I decided that trying to cut a tiny piece of chocolate into thirds was more trouble than it’s worth, so for this test I just cut a 15 mg wafer in half and called it a day.

Again, I took the edible right after dinner and waited. This time 1.5 hours passed before I could sense my cannabinoid receptors being tickled. At the two-hour mark I could still only just barely sense a light buzz. I hadn’t eaten anything out of the ordinary. What was happening?

At the 2.5-hour mark, the party finally started, with a slow build that finally peaked at the three-hour mark. I was very stoned, but by this point it was just about my bedtime, so I didn’t get to wallow in it for long.

The potency was surprising and made me wonder if I’d underestimated the “entourage effect.” Or perhaps it was the equal parts CBD in each dose? Maybe both.

Test 3 (15 mg)

I decided to YOLO the final test and just eat a whole piece of chocolate right after a heaping plate of pasta. I knew I was in for a big ride, and boy was it, but once again I had to wait.

I was pretty buzzed after three hours, but I didn’t hit the peak until the Four. Hour. Mark. Four hours. I actually stayed up almost an hour past my bedtime to see if I’d hit the peak or if I still had road to travel. Again, this buzz might have been more fun if I hadn’t been longing for my pillow just as things were getting interesting.

Also, admittedly I was asking for it, but the weed hangover from the 15 mg dose lasted pretty much the entirety of the following day. Not as bad as the Midwest Reserve hangover, but close.

The straight dope on the Xite Dark Chocolate Minis

The Xite Dark Chocolate Minis are certainly powerful, but my list of petty grievances is long.

Why 45 mg per package instead of the allowable 50? Why is each chocolate 15 mg, so people have to ballpark a 5 mg dose? Is that even legal? And how large is the market for people who want to wait three hours or more to get stoned after eating an edible? If you want a buzz right after work, you pretty much have to eat one of these things at lunch.

The upside is that the Xite Dark Chocolate Minis are delicious and don’t have a hint of weed smell or taste, which is really hard to accomplish. And it’s difficult to grouse about being shorted an entire Minnesota 5 mg dose, when the 45 mg that you get are (eventually) quite strong and the price point is a very reasonable $19.99.

Those questions and gripes aren’t reflected in the generous score below, but the system is the system, man.

SCORES:

Potency: 5

Price: 5 ($19.99 at Hemp House)

Value: 4

Far Out, Man Ratio: 4

Total: 18 out of 20

Scoring system is a 1 to 5 range, with 1 being “meh,” and 5 being “Fuck yeah.”